Something's Gotta Give

I am on the verge of complete shut-down.

Back in July, while still on Maternity leave, I decided to make a few quilts and try to sell them. I wanted to see if I could turn a hobby into a money-maker. I start making them, find cheap fabric and then make some more. Then some more. Wow I have so many, why not do a craft fair?

Then Colin comes up with a genious baby accessory invention. I make it, and it works great! So I better mass produce those for the craft show too. The more we think about it, and the more I use it, the more we like it! And the more we think, "we could really go places with this". So now we're looking into starting a business.

I have some fabric scraps, so I make yet another baby item out of those. And since I'm doing one craft fair, why not do two?

But I am crazy! I like to keep myself busy but this is ridiculous!!!!

I work full time (with a one hour + commute each way), have a 14 month old whom I want to/love to/need to spend time with, have a husband who needs some of my attention, and have a house to clean (one of these days) and meals to make.

Then I end up sewing any chance I get, like if Nathan is in his high chair eating cheerios while my meat cooks on the stove. Or when Nathan goes to bed and Colin's trying to get a few minutes of relax time himself. You know what I mean? I go weeks at a time without actually RELAXING. Yes, I enjoy most of the time I spend sewing but it's not relaxing anymore. I'm sure people can relate.

If it's not one thing, it's another. When I was planning the race I thought, "When the race is over I can relax". But when it was over I went full-tilt into sewing. So now I think, "When the craft fairs are over, I can relax".

But I won't. I can't. I don't know how to relax. I not only have to be "busy", but I have to be multitasking while being busy. It's not enough to sew. I have to clean on the way from the sewing maching to the ironing board. I even try to get stuff done when I eat breakfast in the morning. I took my sewing maching on vacation last weekend.

Laugh if you want, but it's actually becoming a problem. I realized this last night.

I was sewing at 10:00 and Colin came to the sewing table (what used to be the dining room table) to visit. He picked up a book from the table and started to laugh. He said (while chuckling), "Is THIS the book you're reading?". I said, "Well, I read a chapter last month".

The book is called THE REST OF GOD. Rest meaning the opposite of busy.

I obviously haven't had a chance to read it.

So he opened the book and read me a chapter out loud as the sewing maching hummed away. As he read, the thing that stuck out the most was that if we're so busy, we can't be still and hear the voice of God. I'm making my own plans (even triple-booking myself) but what does HE want me to do?

Guess I should be still and listen...after the craft fairs are over.