Honestly...
I think this a record time period between posts. There's been such a rush of different high and low emotions lately that I can't seem to focus on one long enough to write.
So, caution, here is "the mess" that is my brain.
The longer I'm pregnant, the more I'm learning about the emotions of it. Some people think that we're off in our own "pregnant" world (which is on cloud 9), don't care about others, and don't have any negative emotions.
So not true.
Of course I am excited about what God's forming inside me, but it doesn't make me immune to the rest of the world.
I'm mad that some friends have troubles getting pregnant. I'm upset that some friends have lost their babies. I know how it feels, and it's horrible. There are loads of people who are choosing to dispose of their babies, and the people who want children can't have them! It's not fair. It makes me mad.
I wonder "Why would God let this happen to these wonderful people?". I pray in earnest for friends who have problems, but God's answer isn't "yes" (at least, not yet). Why?
Why do I pray if "God's will be done" anyway? Can I change His mind like Moses did? If yes, why haven't I?
I guess in the back of my mind I know the answers. There's a purpose for everything. And we on earth, are not meant to know the inner thoughts of God. He knows why everything happens and we just have to learn to accept the answers we're given, and trust that one day we'll understand. It still doesn't make it easier.
But I'll keep praying.
Labels: Baby
posted by Nancy @ 12:12 PM
5 Comments:
I'm with you on this post for sure. Sometimes, we just can't seem to understand what's on God's mind, and the worst part for me is we really have no right to know what He's thinking, do we?
It sucks, these issues were going on even in Jesus' day. Sometimes we don't fully understand something until we've gone through it ourselves and we may not understand the mind of God, and we can spend an eternity asking 'Why?', but these things I know for sure: God loves us; just because someone lives a life like Rahab doesn't mean she may not receive the blessings of Sarah; and we may not see it now - but God is painting an exquisite picture of our lives to hang in the hall of Heaven.
Be encouraged Nancy that our lives are entrusted to God and His wish is not to harm us but to teach, strengthen and bless us.
Good Post!
Yay, I finally get to do some blogging (or at least comment on a few blogs).... I know what you mean by your post though. I'm remembering the other day when my hair stylist was telling me about all the friends she's had who have gotten abortions since high school. And how "at peace" her one friend is about it.... But anyway, not to get on to THAT topic.... I think you and Colin are highly blessed with a baby and don't let anything or anyone else's circumstances rob that joy! Everyone who is your friend knows how much you care for your friends.
Nancy, I just reread this after going through this tough thing myself. I thank you for your words. Even in the midst of your joy you can feel sorrow for your friends. I thank you for that, even though we are not friends. I also want to say, and I'm sure you are past this, but after having experienced it myself, I am thankful for people like you that are having pregnancies that continue. They give me hope for the future, and I am always excited at a new baby entering the world! Again, thanks for your words. I remember reading this about a month ago, and I wanted to come back to it tonight.
Stacy, thanks for YOUR words! I'm so sorry to hear you've been through it too, and will be praying for you.
Keep those hopes up!
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